In the Rain
by PagetPaulson
Summary: How could he love her?


Turning to face away from the older man, Emily buttoned up her pants. She could feel him staring at her from his spot on the bed but there was no chance in hell she was going to let him see her cry.

"Emily?"

The brunette sniffled as she clasped the back of her bra. "Yeah?"

His blue eyes watched as the beautiful woman turned to look at him, her fingers raking through her mused hair. He loved her hair. "Are you leaving?"

Emily shakily nodded her head to the grey haired man. "Kind of wore me out," she laughed dully, gulping when her eyes met his. Setting her hands on her hips, the agent looked around the bedroom floor in search of her shirt.

He didn't want her the way she wanted him, and she wasn't sure when she'd finally be able to fully understand and accept that.

Standing, the older man slipped on his boxers and a pair of sweats. "Emily?"

The brown eyed woman looked up to see him walking toward her. She let him cup her waist and bring their bodies closer.

And then he kissed her.

Emily let the older man's lips press gently against hers before she felt the need to pull away and take a breath. "Leroy," she sighed, taking herself from his hold and shaking her head.

Gibbs watched her brush her fingers over the beautifully pink lips he'd just kissed and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Her dark eyes found her sweater on the ground and she quickly slipped it on over her head. "I have to go."

Gibbs reached forward and took the hand of the younger woman. "Why do you do this?" After every night together the FBI agent would pull farther away from him.

Emily smiled wide up to the older man. "Do you want to go for something to eat?"

Shaking his head, the grey haired man watched as the younger woman pointed up to him. "What?"

"That's why." She looked into those blue eyes and tried to stop her heart from breaking. "We don' have a relationship outside of your bedroom." Walking over to the wall, Emily slammed her hand against it. "These white walls are the most disgusting, suffocating walls I've ever been trapped in."

The older man took his shirt from the foot of the bed and shook his head. "Emily, I thought we talked about this."

"No, you talked about this and you assumed I was ok with it," the FBI agent fought back. "This isn't ok."

"Then I'm sorry for assuming you were ok with it. God knows you jumped right back into bed with me."

Emily's face fell at the accusation, her chest tightening with the anger she saw in the older man's eyes. "How dare you," she whispered.

Gibbs clenched his jaw and looked away. He care for her too much to watch her cry.

"Am I really just a good fuck for you?" the agent whispered sadly, her head shaking as she tried to get him to look her way. "Do you want nothing more than to fuck me and get rid of me?"

The older man immediately started to shake his head. "Who said I wanted to get rid of you?"

Emily's heart thudded in her ears as she shoved her hands forward. "You did! You always do when you take me back here instead of to a restaurant or when you suck on my neck and not pour me a glass of wine. I mean nothing to you, do I?"

Her voice made the older man soften his eyes, and he turned to her. "Of course you mean something to me."

Rolling her lips, Emily hiccupped as she took a breath. "Do you love me?"

Gibbs ran his hand down his face.

Emily felt her nose sting as her tears grew harder to keep from falling, and she sniffled, glancing down to the ground and watching her feet stand still. "You don't love me," she whispered, looking back up to him. "How could you? You don't know me."

The blue eyed man's brow furrowed as he looked at her. "Of course I know you."

"What's my favorite movie?" The agent watched as Gibbs struggled to find an answer, and she took a step closer. "My favorite flower? What do I like to drink with my dinner?"

Gibbs glared at the wall over Emily's shoulder. "How am I supposed to know all that?"

Emily laughed, her tears finally rolling down her cheeks. "Exactly!" she almost shouted, smiling like the idiot she felt she was. "How would you know that? You've never taken me to dinner or to the movies." Her smile falling from her face, Emily's lips thinned into a straight line as she looked back to the floor. "You've never given me a flower," she whispered.

"Emily," the grey haired man whispered, reaching forward.

She batted his hands away and stepped back, shaking her head. "I can't do this anymore," her voice rasped.

Gibbs followed her out of the bedroom and through the hall, taking her shoes from the couch and holding them to his chest so she couldn't leave. "Stop."

"Leroy, give me my shoes."

He held them above his head when she reached for them.

Emily's jaw dropped. "Leroy!"

"I get that I don't give you what you need, I get that," Gibbs rushed out, his chest aching at the pain he saw on the beautiful woman's face. "Let me try."

Emily slowly shook her head, confused by the older man's proclamation.

Gibbs dropped the heels from his hands and gently cupped Emily's cheeks. He could feel her tears in the palms of his hands and he stood as close to her as he could. "I don't want you to leave."

The brunette woman cried as he pressed a desperate kiss to her lips.

"I'll take you to dinner," he nodded, his voice stiff. "I'll watch movies with you; I'll get you the biggest bouquet of flowers. Please just stay with me."

Emily gripped the older man's hands and practically pried them from her face, her hair falling in front of her face as she hastily picked up her shoes and headed for her purse.

Gibbs stood still in the dark room, his eyes falling as Emily tried to slip her heels on as fast as she could. "I don't love you," he admitted, missing the immediate pause of the younger woman. Meeting her eyes from across the room, the NCIS agent shrugged. "I don't love you."

The brunette's eyes burned.

"But that doesn't mean I can't." If only she'd give him the chance.

Before she could let him finish, Emily was turning and walking out the door, her makeup gone from her tears and his kisses and the rain that now fell around her before she jumped into her car. She looked up and saw the older man through the rain in his living room window, and she quickly wiped her tears away.

She loved him.


End file.
